alovesecrecy.

  Fantasy. I wish I didn't have to wake up. I wish I could hibernate longer. I wish I could predict the future. I wish I could write my own future. I wish... Obsession is such an ugly word. And they call this tragedy. This is usually the part where people scream. Seduction? Sweetheart, you are sadly mistaken. Endings without stories. As you wish. Alesana really depicts a story. The album 'Where Myth Fades to Legend' is speaking to me. All of it. And yes, I'm a sadist. The urge of slitting my wrist came to mind once again. ugh. Goodbye, goodnight for good. 

A lunatic's lament. My heart is in turmoil. It holds a secret, a treasure I guard fiercely, a love that only I can feel. The words I want to whisper are lost in the silence of my own heart, a love I can't express. I could never marry you, so I buried you instead. And made sure no one gets you. I'm selfish and relentless about what's happening, but I can't seem to control my emotions. A sudden obsession seizes my soul. No poisonous kiss, but enough to make me a lunatic. I would take a walk together and count the stars that disappear. It almost felt like desperation. Feelings are mutual, but unable to reciprocate, hence it became complicated. Could this lead to a tragic ending? I pondered. May the current obsession fade away. The heart is not strong enough for another fall. Why must things be so complicated? Why do we have to cross paths at the wrong time? Why is a stone heart able to get swayed, to have feelings again? So many questions yet when we put it to faith, e...

Hymn for the weekend. My mind was in turmoil during the weekend. I was in a beautiful mess, physically and emotionally. Overthinking kills. Everything else didn't matter. Getting a grip on myself each time I had dark thoughts. How will this end? I paused. I was flustered when my feelings swayed. I kept questioning myself, "Is this what I really want?" It's fascinating to see a faithful soul who unconsciously ended up being the most hurt. Underrated as it may sound, being upright seemed the biggest help one could be. Being zestful and zealous hides the pain away, wearing the biggest smile so no one notices. An addiction to listening to every chapter of a story. Honored to think that it crosses one's mind. This was a powerful self-reflection—raw and honest. It sounds like I'm standing at a turning point, where clarity is trying to break through the fog of everything I've been carrying. That voice telling me to fix things, to face reality, it may be my intuit...