alovesecrecy.

The Unsung Hero. She is the eldest daughter. The one who never burdened her parents with anything. She is the daughter who always chose responsibility over happiness, who gave selflessly and forgot to keep anything for herself. She carries her problems in silence but never lets her siblings feel any weight. She is the daughter who always speaks for her mother, who always understands her father. She is the daughter who was never selfish until the day she did something for herself. She is the daughter, her parents say, who grew up too soon, never realizing she had no other choice. The weight of responsibility, the silence of sacrifices, and the love that goes unnoticed. She carries it all.

  Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone. 💕 You were not my first pet, but definitely the last. You reminded me so much of my first cat, so so clingy and pampered. You name it; Local breeds, Ragdolls, Norwegian Forest, Bengal, and British Shorthairs. Had a couple of guinea pigs and a tank full of fish too. 😅 I miss my boy so, so much. 😭If I have to give you up one day, just know that I loved you so f much.  I remembered the day you came into my life. It was on 25.01.21 You were outside my rental house. I told myself that I'll keep you if you are persistent in waiting at the door when I'm home. Day 3 passed, and you were still waiting. I told myself I gotta keep you. Indeed, t'was the best decision ever. I remembered how we used to play catch all the time!  Remember those late-night talks we had? How we always annoy each other? You are my best friend and my safe space. Even though I was having a hard time, you never fail to make me S-M-I-L-E 👻 I miss biting you, sm...

 Home sweet home. "I want to go home.  Not the place but the feeling."  Where do I run to when home doesn't feel like home anymore? They say that abandonment is a wound that never heals.  I say that an abandoned child never forgets. It feels like I'm exiled from my own family. I was, but I came back and I shouldn't have. Why? I want a normal life like others. Why is being happy such a difficult thing? Has anyone ever cared about my mental health? ___________________________________________________________________________________ I was not expecting any readers, So many thoughts to pen down. The fear of opening up to someone is insanely scary. Motives and judgmental. Could stab you in the back, too. Or am I just overthinking? Tough times never last, but this is taking too long, period.

A fiasco night. At a 5-day recovery stage, I made the matter worse. All kinds of emotions when I was pushed by a wheelchair, not too long, to a hospital bed. This was not what I wanted. Guilt-tripping, a sense of responsibility, made me beg to be discharged. On a positive note, and probably the only thing that made me smile, is when my bola friends contribute to my hospital bills. It caught me off guard as I wasn't expecting any of this. I felt so thankful and grateful. Instead, I returned the offer. I'm probably trying to claim from insurance. I received the amount of care and concern from others, but not from my own family. That's fucking sad.  Then came along an utterly horrifying text message. Doesn't matter if I explain. Sucks to be me to not have a place of my own. House rules and whatnots. My life was already broken a long time ago. Sometimes I wish I were older, only because I need a roof over my head. I'm done renting over and over again.  Now, I'm back...

A passer-by. Perhaps you are looking for something to fill the void. Maybe you are still exploring. Let's not take this seriously. It sucks to have these thoughts. But it is what it is. My younger days are over. I get tired easily. Haha. Let me reconsider such thoughts. It might not be worth my time. Once were realms of vibrant dreams, Now haunted by their hollow schemes, A tapestry of vanished light, Fading whispers lost to the flight. Enlighten me.

Is it wrong? I know it felt unfair to you. I know that you think it was inappropriate. But I know my boundaries. What if it leads to a crush? It's a healthy crush, that is. Whatever I'm feeling is not validated. And I'm not saying I'm catching feelings. If it's not insecurities, tell me what this is? Sometimes I feel that I cannot be happy for long. I will end up with disappointment. 😞 because I do tend to forget  when the future I envisioned does not come to greet me Instead, my expectations they beat me reminding me when I lied about not caring. about the half-truth I was sharing. On frail wings of vanity and wax.

Dreams do come true. Deep breaths! Now, where do I start?  I was feeling down due to my injury, unable to play bola for the next 2 weeks due to a contusion and concussion. Serve me right for playing back-to-back and getting kicked on my left and right cheek/jaw/head. Little did I expect a surprise.  I received a friend request from an unexpected person! I was ecstatic but wondered if it might be an accidental request. But mostly, I was shocked. And of course, happy. 21.07.2025 is the date to remember. I mustered up the courage to send a message. I was in a "fangirling" mode. But of course, I kept my cool. My ig stories were seen and I felt noticed. On day 2, I decided to ask if the friend request was an accident. I was trying not to put my hopes high if the reply could dampen me. Instead, I was caught by surprise again. It's because she wanted to figure out who I am. And because apparently she read my blog. SHE READ MY BLOG? Am I lucky or what? Okay, at this point, my pun...

Your Silhouette. There I was again tonight Forcing laughter, faking smiles Same old tired, lonely place Walls of insincerity Shifting eyes and vacancy Vanished when I saw your face All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?" Across the room, your silhouette Starts to make its way to me The playful conversation starts Counter all your quick remarks Like passing notes in secrecy And it was enchanting to meet you All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you This night is sparklin ', don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck, blushin ' all the way home I'll spend forever wonderin ' if you knew I was enchanted to meet you The lingering question kept me up 2AM, who do you love? I wonder 'til I'm wide awake And now, I'm pacing back and forth Wishing you were at my door I'd open up and you would say "Hey, it was enchanting to meet you" All I know is I was enchanted to meet you This is me praying that ...