Chapter 40: When Silence Becomes the Answer

-

It starts with, you.



Don’t blame a stranger
when you were the first to wound me.
You broke me,
you broke us.

If touch were nothing but passing heat to you,
know this—
It was a world to me.

You said you were busy,
You said you weren’t in the mood.
But why did I always surrender
Whenever you reached for me,
Yet you turned away
Whenever I reached for you?

When I finally stopped,
You pulled me back.
You couldn’t hold me close,
Yet you couldn’t let me go.

One day,
When I finally give up,
Don’t let regret come knocking.

Yes—
Intimacy is only a bonus in love,
But how do I steer this ship
when there was no sail,
no wind,
nothing to start?

And when others
offer me the attention
You kept denying,
don’t turn the blame
onto me.

Tell me,
why is your love
so selfish?


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Chapter 7: Too Much Hate and Anger

-
Will it ever be enough? I was bawling my eyes out yesterday after keeping it for so long. If you don't know me yet, I will keep everything, bottling it up until it decides to burst one day. Yes, I'm that kind of person. I will take in every word you have ever said and endure it for a very very long time. It's in my nature that I have no one to share it with, and regretting the moment I choose to share it with someone. I should've tolerated it and had more patience but I failed. I was so sick, with all the combos; you name it. That's when I realised I was triggered by a word.  I am always never good enough in the eyes of my family members. All that they have seen is only my flaws, the negativity. I don't even have the respect of making my own decision, even though it took me a while to decide. I don't have a say.  My holidays planned for storm were not a "WOW" factor type of country. I have to inform them that I've planned for school holidays bl...
Read more

Chapter 14: Blessed and Surprised!

-
Dreams do come true. Deep breaths! Now, where do I start?  I was feeling down due to my injury, unable to play bola for the next 2 weeks due to a contusion and concussion. Serve me right for playing back-to-back and getting kicked on my left and right cheek/jaw/head. Little did I expect a surprise.  I received a friend request from an unexpected person! I was ecstatic but wondered if it might be an accidental request. But mostly, I was shocked. And of course, happy. 21.07.2025 is the date to remember. I mustered up the courage to send a message. I was in a "fangirling" mode. But of course, I kept my cool. My ig stories were seen and I felt noticed. On day 2, I decided to ask if the friend request was an accident. I was trying not to put my hopes high if the reply could dampen me. Instead, I was caught by surprise again. It's because she wanted to figure out who I am. And because apparently she read my blog. SHE READ MY BLOG? Am I lucky or what? Okay, at this point, my pun...
Read more

Chapter 10: The Smile That Changed Everything

-
A lunatic's lament. My heart is in turmoil. It holds a secret, a treasure I guard fiercely, a love that only I can feel. The words I want to whisper are lost in the silence of my own heart, a love I can't express. I could never marry you, so I buried you instead. And made sure no one gets you. I'm selfish and relentless about what's happening, but I can't seem to control my emotions. A sudden obsession seizes my soul. No poisonous kiss, but enough to make me a lunatic. I would take a walk together and count the stars that disappear. It almost felt like desperation. Feelings are mutual, but unable to reciprocate, hence it became complicated. Could this lead to a tragic ending? I pondered. May the current obsession fade away. The heart is not strong enough for another fall. Why must things be so complicated? Why do we have to cross paths at the wrong time? Why is a stone heart able to get swayed, to have feelings again? So many questions yet when we put it to faith, e...
Read more