Chapter 52: The Struggle

Survival Mode

Survival mode. That’s where I am now. Not thriving, not soaring — just holding on, one day at a time. Waiting for my own space in a couple of years feels like waiting for a lifeline, a place where I can finally breathe again. A place where the walls will no longer whisper of the past but instead hold only the silence of peace.

I hope Romeo lasts with me until then. I want to keep him without worrying that one day he’ll be gone. The toxicity is surreal, two-faced — but for once, I want to be selfish. To prolong this, until what comes may.

Viper and Oak… perhaps they’re okay? It feels as if nothing happened. So much drama. Now it doesn’t feel strange to admit that I am done. It’ll just leave another scar. Oak, though — he’s so pathetic and weak. Too cowardly to hold up his end of the storm. And I’m left wondering how much longer I can keep carrying the weight of others when I barely have enough strength for myself.

Survival mode means not collapsing, even when my mind threatens to. It means holding on to the thought of that new home, that fresh beginning, that space untouched by old battles. It means believing that I will get there — that I will be strong enough to see it through.

I don’t know what may come. But for now, I remind myself: survival is still a kind of victory.