Chapter 85: Somewhere I Wasn’t Meant to Stay

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Reading Between the Lines

Sometimes, an answer does not arrive as a clear yes or no.

Instead, it comes through silence, changing words and that uncomfortable feeling of never quite knowing where you stand.

For a while, I held on to certain things that had been said to me. They gave me a reason to believe that an opportunity might eventually come my way. I continued showing up, putting in effort and hoping my turn would come.

But words can create expectations that actions do not always fulfil.

Perhaps circumstances changed. Perhaps I misunderstood what was meant. Or perhaps some decisions had already been quietly made long before I realised it. I do not know the complete story, so I will not pretend that I do.

What I do know is how the experience made me feel.

It is difficult watching opportunities pass you by when you genuinely believe you are capable. It becomes even harder when you sense that effort and ability may not be the only things being considered. In some spaces, being familiar seems to matter just as much as being ready.

Maybe that is simply how certain circles work.

Someone once encouraged me to look carefully before stepping into this particular space. Still, I wanted to keep an open mind. I believed everyone deserved a fair chance, including the people I had not yet met.

Looking back, perhaps that advice was not meant to stop me. Perhaps it was meant to prepare me.

I am disappointed, but I do not regret trying. At least I no longer have to wonder what might have happened if I had given it a chance. I showed up sincerely, and I know the effort I put in.

Not every place we want to enter is meant for us. Sometimes, a closed door has less to do with our worth and more to do with what is happening on the other side of it.

I may never receive the clarity I hoped for, but I am beginning to understand that uncertainty can also be an answer.

I do not need to force my way into any space. I would rather keep moving until I find one where I do not have to question whether I belong.

For now, I will take the lesson, leave the confusion behind and continue becoming better for myself.

Some doors do not close loudly.

They simply remain half-open until we finally decide to walk away.


#continue growing somewhere my effort is recognised rather than spend too much time wondering why


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