alovesecrecy.

Things My Mind Wandered There comes a point when holding on does more damage than release. Letting go isn’t weakness — it’s survival dressed as surrender. I’ve spent nights wondering if love is meant to last, or if sometimes, it’s only meant to teach. The truth is, not every connection survives the storms. Some wither, some drift, and some leave scars too deep to forget. But I am learning: not everything broken needs fixing. Not everyone who leaves needs chasing. Not every goodbye needs a reason. Letting go is fragile. It hurts in silence. It feels like tearing yourself apart. But perhaps it is also the first step toward peace. And maybe, someday, I’ll thank myself for this release. For now, I carry the echo, and I move on.

Survival Mode Survival mode. That’s where I am now. Not thriving, not soaring — just holding on, one day at a time. Waiting for my own space in a couple of years feels like waiting for a lifeline, a place where I can finally breathe again. A place where the walls will no longer whisper of the past but instead hold only the silence of peace. I hope Romeo lasts with me until then. I want to keep him without worrying that one day he’ll be gone. The toxicity is surreal, two-faced — but for once, I want to be selfish. To prolong this, until what comes may. Viper and Oak… perhaps they’re okay? It feels as if nothing happened. So much drama. Now it doesn’t feel strange to admit that I am done. It’ll just leave another scar. Oak, though — he’s so pathetic and weak. Too cowardly to hold up his end of the storm. And I’m left wondering how much longer I can keep carrying the weight of others when I barely have enough strength for myself. Survival mode means not collapsing, even when my mind th...

Butterfly Of everyone I have lost, it is Butterfly I miss the most. Her absence feels louder in moments like these — when  Oak  is left standing against storms he should never have to endure. How I wish she was still here, to bring balance, to bring calm, to soften the edges of a house that now feels broken. She would have known how to steady him, how to guide him, how to remind him of love that is gentle. Instead, he faces Viper . I watched in anger as she raised her voice, as doors slammed, as she pushed a man who already carries a heart too fragile to bear more weight. No one deserves that — not even Oak. Yes, it is true — he reaps what he has sown. This is not his first remarriage, and perhaps the choices of the past have brought him to this moment. But never, never to this extent. I find myself hoping he lets go, that he finds the strength to cut away what poisons instead of heals. I hope he chooses peace over chaos, because life is too short ...

Oak & Viper Oak stands firm, unbending, rooted deep in the ground, a figure of strength and permanence. Yet his branches do not always shelter, and his silence can feel heavy. Beside him coils Viper — sharp, watchful, dangerous in her quiet. A presence that teaches caution, a reminder that not every closeness is safe. Together they form a part of my story, not always gentle, not always kind, but still a part of the forest I grew from.

Holding Space I’ve carried so much inside me for so long, so many feelings left unspoken, so many burdens quietly held. And yet, when I needed it most, you two were there — Luna and Ember. Even though our relationship as siblings has never been simple or easy, even though distance and misunderstanding have always lingered, you stepped up. You heard me. You saw my exhaustion. You took over, becoming the caretakers for Storm when I could not. Not out of obligation, but out of understanding, out of care, out of love — however imperfect it may be. Even when I spoke about cutting ties, even when I considered going completely solo for the sake of my sanity, you didn’t judge. You encouraged me to do what I needed for my mental health, to reclaim myself, even if it meant stepping away from family. I have held this in for far too long. It wasn’t easy to share my truth, to admit my vulnerability, to let someone in on feelings I rarely voice. Pride tells me to stay silent, but...

Finding Myself Again In the quiet after letting go, I realize how much of myself I have lost along the way. Pieces scattered, heart heavy, mind clouded with too many storms. Now, it is time to return to myself. To gather what has been broken, to feel whole again, to learn how to smile without forcing it, to love myself in ways I once forgot. I know it won’t be easy. Some days I will stumble, some nights I will question, but I will stand up again. Stronger. Wiser. Ready for whatever may come. Above all, I want my sanity back. I want my peace. And I will fight for it — not against the world, but for myself.